So, blew off the blog for a bit. Sometimes I'm just not in the mood, but maybe it's the best time to write. I can ramble away at times, while struggling to put words together at others. I'm not exactly eloquent, but I should be able to write some thoughts!
There's been quite a series of events, but yeah on the mind is what I'm here for. I went through some confusion, some sadness, concern, but also a little relief. As cliché as it sounds, her happiness matters to me even if it means probably sunsetting an idea we tried to roll with. Did the moment pass? Perhaps it's just the timing was off. Maybe a moot point, but hey.. the brain wonders. A joke that came around a bit was that this was very teenage-like. It was. And I was there for it. It was fast, it was fun, and it was brief. The earlier conversation gave me clues, and I began trying to grieve the relationship despite uncertainties. One thing that became clear to me is that I didn't want to give up a friend in the process. So, it's not that I want to dismiss this relationship nonchalantly. I'm not over it by a long shot, because it did hurt knowing it's concluded. With it also goes the illusion of some of the plans we probably jumped the gun on. Do I regret it? Not a chance! But this is more about a friend's world I want to hold on to. So the question becomes can our friendship hold through. I genuinely believe so. We had the hardest conversation to this point, and I felt we handled it. Guarantees don't exist. But I'm confident that we've got this!
We.. Shall.. See
Christian
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