Running Through My Head:
-Regrets.. big and small: I tell myself regrets and grudges are a couple of things that just weigh too much and are nothing but counterproductive. But like I've said before, telling myself is one thing, actively processing and learning to move on is the tricky part. My go-to move, with regrets in particular, is to kick the can down the road. Avoid and let future me deal with it. The problem with that is that present me is actually dealing with it, but in the wrong way. So it's a good a time as any to acknowledge the company I have and reach some closure.
A regret that is minor since I suppose it only affects me at this point is my reaction to my sister's pregnancy. She was with a guy I knew wasn't going to be there, and I honestly hated the idea of her having a child with him. I only frowned expecting her to have to raise her alone once the guy flaked, but it was enough for me think, "wow, the very first time I hear about my niece's pending arrival, I basically hated the notion." As it turned out, she's my favorite person of all. One of the greatest things I've had happen to me is becoming her uncle. So yes, I was naïve and messed up in thinking my sister made a mistake and was about to raise a child on her own. Of course, she's never been alone in this, and of course I will always count my lucky stars for having this awesome kid in my life. So yeah, dumb flub that bugs me from time to time, but it's something I need to forgive myself for because I know I can and will always be a rock for my niece for as long as she needs me.
-Self-consciousness: In talking with Chelsea, I've been picking up that I'm really letting self-consciousness take too big a role. I know I wasn't like this before, but my self-worth took a little bit of a hit. A silly thing that gets me is being used to taking my fitness more seriously. Perhaps it was partly a past relationship, the pandemic, stress from my former job, but I really slacked off and have been going up and down in weight and confidence. So, easy plan of attack: treat my mind and health better. I've been hitting the gym and rebuilding stamina. I've been cooking more and as it turns out, it's kinda fun! Basically, this one is on the upswing and I think I'll get a grip of it soon enough.
-Birthday Numero 34: The last couple of birthdays have been a bit busy with work or other stuff, so it's pretty awesome to have plans already for the next one. I spoke with my manager about requesting a week off, and it seems greenlit once I have the set dates. So YESS! Excited about that. Sometimes I don't express the thrill outwardly as much, but it's there! I'm looking forward to every minute of my birthday week! :-) But yes yes.. as Chelsea has been reminding me, it's fun to anticipate and think about way ahead, but important to stay in the present. But hey... maybe a little day dreaming is okay.. it's planning, yeah let's call it planning!
To wrap up, work has been going well minus a burn on my arm. Tsk tsk. My sister is killing it with the crew. A great co-worker already took her under her wing. I've only trained her on a couple things, and she's already rocking it. Home life is good. Oakley has been doing better.
I've run out of steam.. so cutting it off here.
Until next time,
Christian Alejandro
Weather: Hot hot hot
Mood: Pretty Decent
Music: Another Postcard (Barenaked Ladies)
Food: Salad with Chicken and Grilled Vegetables
No comments:
Post a Comment